The Feminist Knitter

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At What Point Does a Pile of Fresh Starts Go Stale? December 28, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — picturefool @ 5:20 pm

Hi there! It’s me again. Let’s see…. since last post…. Oh, who cares. I was absent and now I’m back and sincerely hoping to make bloggy journaling a serious pursuit in the new year. And look at me getting an early start. Cuz that’s how I roll.

Here goes nothing….

On Twitter my handle is @readknitlive and I plan to approach each blog post using those three categories.

Read

I have been struggling with reading lately. My concentration is not what it should be. Twitter eats up a great deal of reading time as do my rss feeds. Knitting has taken a lot of reading time, too. My goal for the new year is to read 31 books (20+11 for 2011).

I just finished reading Room by Emma Donoghue for my book club meeting in January. I can’t say much here because book club rule #1 is: Thou Shalt Not Pre-Discuss The Book. I’ll just say that it’s a fast read and I don’t not recommend it. (That double negative is in there to throw you off the scent. “What does she mean by that?”)

The kidlet pulled Absurdistan by Gary Shteyngart for my next read. My poor husband was about to lob a book at my head because all I could say for three days was some mumbling about not having anything to read/not knowing what to read/not liking any books ever/wasting my degree. He kept pulling choices for me and I kept making faces at him and how he continues to live with me is really beyond my comprehension. Then the kidlet stepped in and grabs this book and thrusts it into my hands and I think, I think he might have nailed it. I’ve read the prologue so far and liked it.

So, 20+11 for 2011 here we come!

Knit

Knitting is insane right now. I have a scarf going for my boss’s wife, a scarf for her best friend, a scarf for the kidlet in Harry Potter colors, a scarf for my husband in a luscious charcoal gray, a wrap for me, a baby blanket for a baby that arrives on January 18th (YIPE!). I’m losing my mind in the pile of projects. I am off work for the next five days and will be spending as much of that time knitting and reading as I can to have some finished objects. I mainly want to finish the scarf for my boss’s wife because it is gorgeous in a pale baby pink Shepherds Wool yarn.

Live

Living is interesting. My doctor had to cut my crazy meds because they were keeping me awake at night and insomnia and crazy do not play well together. The cut in the meds, though, has me feeling low and isolated and convinced everyone hates me. When I feel as though everyone hates me I turn inward and become more isolated and afraid of the phone, meetings, gatherings. At that point I become more convinced that everyone hates me because I am letting them down by not showing up for things or answering the phone when they call. And then I withdraw a little bit more. So, yeah, I’m feeling a bit alone right now and I’m feeling down and I’m frustrated because it certainly seems as though I’m on enough medication that I should be feeling much better but I’m not with just one of three meds cut in half. How crazy am I? I also had a manic night the week before Christmas when a light switched and I COULD NOT STOP. My OCD impulses were heightened and it was so exhausting. It only lasted one day. I could frankly use one more day like that over my upcoming vacation so I can get some of the things done that I want to get done but likely won’t.

I feel, because this is public, that I need to say clearly that social media is my safe place. I have friends here who are friends in real life and friends who are friends only in my cyber-life but they, you, are all heroes to me as you give me this room and Twitter on which I can screech out my feelings without being shot down. I love you all for allowing me to be the introverted social media extrovert I am.

 

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